Too Dependent?

This week I spent a scant few hours with my girl and we slept only two nights next to each other sharing the same sleepy air. And I noticed within myself a pain that wasn't there in this situation past. Before we lived together, I would miss my girl fiercely the times we were within driving distance, but apart this much. But I never felt the cold, painful loneliness I felt this week. Granted that we were apart for a week in November, but being a plane ride away doesn't seem to trigger these feelings for some reason...perhaps the knowledge that she is close, but out of reach is the heart of the issue.

And what is this feeling? Is it jealousy? Perhaps that is part of it.

But I suspect it is also a case of internal overindulgence. It seems that since we moved in together I have become more and more dependent on her emotional and physical closeness. This is a slippery slope towards dangerous ground. For if I am not able to have a firm grasp on my own internal independence, how can I be the one who guides and leads us?

Luckily I am catching this problem early enough to nip it in the bud. No my darling girl, this doesn't mean you will get less attention or affection from me. It just means that your Owner, King, and Captain must remain vigilante at the helm of his ship. For if I am caught up in the tempest of emotional turmoil, who will man the wheel? So with that, I will steady myself, steel my will, and be true to my own.